Thoughts and Feelings

By Funeral-Link New Zealand | Posted: Wednesday February 21, 2018

Funeral-Link know you’ll have ongoing thoughts, feelings and reactions.

After the loss of someone you love, it’s normal to find yourself being reminded of them and of their death regularly for quite some time. You’re likely to miss the person in all sorts of ways. Different things can trigger off thoughts, memories or worries, and it’s naturally an emotionally difficult time.

As the reality of what’s happened slowly begins to hit home, it helps to remember that the grief process affects every part of us. This surprises many people who previously thought that grief is just about feeling sad.


As the shock wears off, and after the funeral has taken place, many people begin to experience some of the most intense and powerful feelings they have ever had. 

Emotions may feel out of control at times, which can be an awful feeling in itself. 

For example, you might feel full of energy and strangely buzzy, invincible and full of courage, then the next minute you might feel exhausted and unable to even move off your chair, and awash with worry and fear. Tears might flow uncontrollably, or you may not be able to cry at all, despite your sadness. It can be confusing.


Our minds have lots to adjust to and it’s inevitable that our brains, and our thinking, are put under extra pressure.

You are likely to find it hard to concentrate and may feel confused and forgetful. 

Your thoughts may constantly return to the person who died, with painful questions and thoughts about what’s happened and about the future running through your mind. Also, if the death was expected, you may think the death was a positive thing after a difficult illness and you might feel guilty.

Funeral-Link members are in each region throughout New Zealand. They share each others values and are able to support families through the journey of change. see: for your local member.  

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